Zarazi, Troll Priestess of the Horde

Friday the 13th May 2005

What do you do, when a seemingly sensible woman confesses to have become "Zarazi, Troll Priestess of the Horde, 2nd Level," but doubt she was every really that sensible at all. (Sensible is vastly overrated. Zarazi) And search for proof...

Thus, having long wanted to "out" myself and other adult game players, the following:

An Interview with Zarazi, Troll Priestess of the Horde, 2nd Level

The Inquisition: Zarazi, many have held ... perhaps mistakenly ... that playing games with children becomes the more pleasurable the older we grow; as we, aging, naturally lose our need to win. You have been introduced to this game by your son. Have you not, Zarazi? What say you then, Zarazi, to this belief?

Zarazi, Troll Priestess of the Horde: : To start with, you must admit that had you ever really thought that I was "sensible," you would not have had anything to do with me. We have both always known that barely beneath the surface lurks a fantasy world both deep and wide that needs just the barest encouragement to emerge.

Clearly my son knows this as well, as he carefully lured me in, first suggesting that I play with making a character of my own and then tossing me into the game. An action he'll live to regret, I am sure.

In any event, the notion of winning or losing doesn't seem to apply, or doesn't apply just yet. I am still in the early stages of character development, level 4 now, by the way. I like the cooperative aspects that are available in the game, but I suspect that it is also possible to fight againt individual players, or in groups. When I get to that point, by all means I would want to win.

On the other hand, it is a fantasy. I chose troll priestess as an initial character to play with. You know you something about me and my fantasies becouse I chose that image instead of a warrior. Lots of room to play though. Who knows what other personna I will be tempted by. Clearly, a dark elf at some point, then maybe a male Tauren, the women just don't look right. Breasts on a bull don't quite suit.

Inquiring of the Inquisitor: What is this "out" of which you speak? Surely you don't mean to suggest that there are those who feel the need to hide, the need to justify their activities. Those cowed (there's that female bull thing again) by the opinions of the unenlightened.

The Inquisition: Life is not Carnival, Zarazi. There will be no inquiring of The Inquisition, here.

Your imagination tends toward a dangerous order of deliberate monstrosity, cross-sexes and cross-species. Take note, for your own good.

And to what greater witchery do you now pretend at level 4, than that at level 2, so soon lost, unrepeatable, past? Or, by now, already, have you surpassed even that?

Zarazi: Of course life is Carnival. Life's paradigms turned on their heads or sideways. The game is Carnival, this site is Carnival and the Inquisitor must also answer or why bother to play at all. You have released the editorial demons and let them wander the site. The Inquisitor cannot remain sacrosanct unless he would abandon any claim to editorial integrity.

A dangerous imagination you say? A great compliment, thank you. I'll keep it in mind. An interesting concern from one who favors using a female avatar because he enjoys the "eye candy". Be careful whom you accuse of gender confusion. At least I admit to an interest in experimenting. A willingness to explore. Who is the Inquisitor, who is not even "out", nor willing to discuss going public, to chastise or warn?

Witchy you say. You have mixed your gaming paradigms. There are no "witches" here. Priestess, mage, warlord, shaman. Priestess I am, at least in this incarnation. But, alas, I am still at level four. The son is hogging the computer. He has chastened me for my lack of speed and directed me to the WOW beginners site. Unnatural child! He tires of my questions. And so soon after Mother's Day. Ingrate!!!

However, you are wrong, as usual, with respect to the past. Perhaps it cannot be repeated, but it is eminently "replayable" again and again. An integral aspect of the game.

The Inquisition: Vanity of vanities, Zarazi. A self-proclaimed "Priestess of the Horde" who prays to no known, to no true God; who practices and aspires to unreal spirtual healing, even unto the virtual resurrection of the dead; who casts and endeavors to master the art of magical spells; such an arrogant mere troll of a woman, puffed up in her own knowing and pretentions to knowing, is ever and always a witch, and no more, her soul thus blackened for all eternity in every book but her own.

Vanity of vanities, Zarazi. Remember the words of he who was king over Israel in Jerusalem. Recall the vanity of the argumentative spirit, equally restless in triumph as in defeat, you who also have given your heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly, to no avail:

And I gave my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are done under heaven: this sore travail hath God given to the sons of man to be exercised therewith.

I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.

I communed with mine own heart, saying, Lo, I am come to great estate, and have gotten more wisdom than all they that have been before me in Jerusalem: yea, my heart had great experience of wisdom and knowledge.

And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit.

Vanity of vanities, Zarazi. You may argue and rail against this humble servant of The One True Lord, Who Sees and Parses All, all you please, for clearly it pleases your crooked heart to do so. But neither will you find peace nor move this servant from His service.

Come, Zarazi, abandon the vain rants, the empty breath, the unsignfying signifiers of your argumentative ways. Unburden your soul. Speak directly, honestly the words of your deeds, black though they may be, in the World of Warcraft. For only through such words, accurate, detailed, exhaustive and repeated, may The One True Lord, who sees and parses all, be moved to mercy, to direct to their redemption other wayward souls from the World of Warcraft, here, to these pages of the Inquisition.

Zarazi: The Inquisitor, like all Inquisitors, is simply a voyeur, seeking to slake his prurient hunger vicariously, through my world, in lieu of creating his own. He would hear of my early battles with the Mottled Boar, wherein, as a virgin, a neophyte in this world, I sought and survived my first kill. He would hear of my battle with Scorpids and the extraction of their venom, of my slaying of the Vile Familiars of the Coven of the Burning Blade in my quest to retrieve the Medallion of the Burning Blade. He would hear of the simple spells I have acquired, of Smite and Shadow Pain, the casting spells which serve to increase my powers and enable me to survive. But even if I tell you of my quests and my hard gained knowledge Inquisitor, it will not be enough. It will not slake you hunger for this world, this World of Warcraft, wherein you desire to play, but have not the courage.

Inquisitor, when will you put aside this false quasi god-like mein in which you have cloaked yourself seeking to hide your true persona? When will you find the strength to lay it aside and revel in the possibilities of this world?

The Inquisition: Do not trouble yourself with the state of my soul, Zarazi, so called "Troll Priestess of the Horde," when your own stands in such peril.

Your last reply, however, is gratifying. We have made some small progress here. Perhaps the most that may be expected in a first session with as yet unrepentant troll females. Yes, enough for the present. May it please The Lord, Who Sees and Parses All.

Guards, come. Return this witch to her cell.