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The Canonical List of Weird Band Names

This unexpurgated version of "The Canonical List of Weird Band Names" from 7/19/98 is preserved and presented here to give the lie to the growing number of web sites, commercial and personal, that are mindlessly reproducing some nameless PC-ditherhead's sanitized version, which first surfaced back in the wild and woolly days of the net when chellec created and yet maintained the authentic Canonical List of Weird Band Names. Imagine the mentality of someone who could, for example, approve band names the likes of "Amputatoe," "Anal Babes," "Anal Beard Barbers," and even "Anal Cunt," and yet figure "Amputee and the Eunichs" was just too, too much for public sensibilities, and hack it off the Canonical List. 

Do not be decieved! Demand the real thing!

-- Amputee and the Eunichs (1977-1979)

The Canonical List of
Weird Band Names

The Peculiar and the Profane

These are names of actual bands, past and present.

Updated 7/19/98. There are currently 1,230 band names.
New entries indicated with NEW!

groovy scenesters since 12/30/95, says Web Counter.

Please send real band names and feedback to

[a] [b] [c] [d] [e] [f] [g] [h] [i] [j] [k] [l] [m] [n] [o] [p] [q] [r] [s] [t] [u] [v] [w] [y] [z]

[ a ]

A Box of Fish with Tartar Sauce
A Boy Named Gomer
Above Average Weight Band
Abstract Evil Barbie
A Cat Born In An Oven Isn't a Cake
Accidental Goat Sodomy
Adult Children of Heterosexuals
The Advil Monkeys
Affordable Floors
Afghanistan Banana Stand
Aggressive Crotch Display
Agnes Morehead
Aha, the Attack of the Green Slime Beast
Albino Toilet Boys
Alcoholics Unanimous
Alien Nymphos from Uranus
Alien Sex Fiend
All You Can Eat
The Amazing Embarrasonic Human Karaoke Machine
Amberham Lincoln
Amputee and the Eunichs
Anal Babes
Anal Beard Barbers
Anal Cunt
Anal Genocide
Anal Sadist
Anal Sausage
Ancient Chinese Penis
An Emotional Fish
Angry Samoans
Anus the Menace
Appalachian Death Ride
Apocolypse Hoboken
The Archbishop's Enema Fetish
Are These My Pants?
The Armadildoes
Armageddon Dildos
Arm the Homeless
Arthur Loves Plastic
Ashtray Babyhead
Ashtray Boy
The Ass Baboons of Venus
Ass Ponys
Ass Solvent
Asylum Street Spankers
Attila The Stockbroker

[ b ]

Baby Shit Brown
Badical Turbo Radness
The Bad Livers
Bad Mutha Goose
Baloney Ponys
Banana Blender Surprise
The Band Formerly Known As Sausage
A Band Named Bob
Band Over
Band That Shot Liberty Valence
Bang Gang
Barbara's Bush
Barbeque Bob and the Spare Ribs
Barbie Bones
Barefoot Hockey Goalie
Barenaked Ladies
Barnyard Ballers
Barnyard Slut
Barney Rubble and the Cunt Stubble
Barry White Boys
The Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash
Bearded Clams
Bearded Itchy Lover
Beast Penis
Beats the Hell Out of Me
Beef Masters
The Bendy Monsters
Ben Wa and the Blue Balls
Bertha Does Moosejaw
Bertha's Mule
Betty Ford
Betty's Fish Bag
Betty's Not a Vitamin
Beverley Beer Bellies
Biff Hitler and the Violent Mood Swings
Big Ass Truck
Big Balls and the Great White Idiot
Big Bird's Turds
Big Black Nun
Big Blow and the Bushwackers
Big Daddy Cumbuckets
Big Dead Fish
Big Dick and the Extenders
Big Fat Pet Clams From Outer Space
Big Fish Ensemble
Big In Iowa
Big White Undies
The Biggest Freak in New Jersey
Bimbo Toolshed
Bindle Blaster and the Big Stub Disaster
Bionic Roomate
Birth Hole
Bitch Slap
Bitter Enemies/Butter Enemas
Bizarr Sex Trio [sic]
The Black Jewish Homosexual Experience
Black Leather Agenda
Black Leather Jesus
Bleeding Rectum
Blew Willie
Bloated Scrotum
Bloated Tick
Blonder Tongue
Blood Sledge Electric Death Chickens
Bloody Mess and the Scabs
Bloody Stools
Blow Job Queen
Blow Monkeys
Blown Apart Bastards
Blue Balls Deluxe
Boba Fett Youth
Bobby Joe Ebola and the Children MacNuggits
Body Falling Down Stairs
Boiled Angel
Bolt Upright and the Erections
Bondage A Go Go
Boner Donors
Bordering On Retarded
Boris the Sprinkler
The Bourbon Tabernacle Choir
Bowling for Larva
The Boxing Ghandis
Boy Scouts of Annihilation
Bozo Porno Circus
Brady Bunch Lawnmower Massacre
Breakfast in Beirut
Brian Jonestown Massacre
Bright Blue Gorilla
Brown Lobster Tank
Brutis Bit Me
Buck Naked and the Bare Bottom Boys
Bullwinkel Gandhi
Brutal Juice
Brutal Noodle
Buck Satan and the 666 Shooters
Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellas
Buddha Thunkit
Bulimia Banquet
The Bumpin' Uglies
Burger Pimp
Burning Lesbians
Burning Sofa #10
Burn Your Tongue
The Bus Station Loonies
Buster Hymen & the Penetrators
Butt Jowl Picnic
Butthole Surfers
Butt Savages
Butt Trumpet

Continue reading The Canonical List of Weird Band Names
Raoul (Mar '06)

Forgotten Opera, 2004

"Think Pacific Heights meets Burning Man meets the Castro. Imagine dancing in a 25,000 square foot warehouse space decked out in opera sets and props, and seeing a professional opera diva appear in the distance to belt out house remixed aria by Gavin Hardkiss followed by the operetta from The Fifth Element. The Forgotten was an incredible resurgence of the bohemian scene in San Francisco on a huge scale." -- From Ggreg Taylor's Forgotten Opera
pepe le peu (Jun '04)

A latecomer to an embassy ball...

...arrives at the top of the stairs and surveys the scene below. The room below is circular. There are 360 doors. On each door is an inscription. What is on the door the latecomer has arrived through? What is on the door directly opposite?...
busybeaver (Jan '04)

Laughter: Sudden Glory at the Misfortune of Others

The vainglory which consisteth in the feigning or supposing of abilities in ourselves, which we know are not, is most incident to young men, and nourished by the histories or fictions of gallant persons; and is corrected oftentimes by age and employment. Sudden glory is the passion which maketh those grimaces called laughter; and is caused either by some sudden act of their own that pleaseth them; or by the apprehension of some deformed thing in another, by comparison whereof they suddenly applaud themselves. And it is incident most to them that are conscious of the fewest abilities in themselves; who are forced to keep themselves in their own favour by observing the imperfections of other men. And therefore much laughter at the defects of others is a sign of pusillanimity. For of great minds one of the proper works is to help and free others from scorn, and compare...
Raoul (Apr '51)

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